{"id":42,"date":"2005-03-25T15:26:05","date_gmt":"2005-03-25T23:26:05","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.stmichaelspod.com\/?page_id=42"},"modified":"2005-03-25T15:28:05","modified_gmt":"2005-03-25T23:28:05","slug":"a-sample-bulletin-announcement-for-your-dts-chapter","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/www.stmichaelspod.com\/?page_id=42","title":{"rendered":"A Sample Bulletin Announcement for your DTS chapter"},"content":{"rendered":"

A SAMPLE
\nDTS BULLETIN
\nANNOUNCEMENT<\/strong><\/p>\n

One of the Dead Theologians Society Chapters once asked me for a sample of a good bulletin announcement. I wrote this specifically for them, and it worked well, or so they told me! So if you can use it feel free to copy it and put in the specific information for your DTS chapter. <\/p>\n

TEENS, READ THIS! PARENTS, GIVE THIS BULLETIN ANNOUNCEMENT TO YOUR TEENS!<\/p>\n

Do you think church is boring? Be honest! Wouldn’t you rather be at the mall
\nat a good movie every week?<\/p>\n

Have you ever seen any of the “STAR WARS” movies? Did you think it was cool
\nthat Jedi Knights could almost float in mid air?<\/p>\n

Did you know that the Catholic Church has made a man named Joseph of
\nCupertino a canonized saint? Did you know that the very same Catholic Church
\nthat you attend claims Joseph of Cupertino could FLY?!! No kidding, really,
\nFLY! He would think about Holy things and he would literally float into the
\nair. Sometimes kind of low and other times very high in the air.<\/p>\n

Did you know that Hollywood is fake, that is, the great flying, floating,
\ntreetop moves you might have seen in “Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon” are
\nall done with computers and basic trick photography? Yes of course you knew
\nthat, but you still thought it was neat, didn’t you? If you are a computer
\nbuff you could probably explain exactly how Hollywood does it with green
\nscreens and matt photography.<\/p>\n

Now ask yourself, seriously, how did Joseph of Cupertino do it? How did he
\nfly? Are you skeptical? Did you know he flew many times it in front of many
\ndifferent witnesses, even in front of a bishop? How did he do it? Think
\nabout it. No cameras, no computer green screens, no safety lines and
\nrigging. He just thought about Holy things and flew! It is true! According
\nto the authority of the same “Boring” Catholic Church you are attending.<\/p>\n

Did you know that some Saint’s bodies never decayed when they died? Even
\nafter hundreds of years? Some of them roll from side to side as if they were
\njust sleeping, or open their eyes and look at people who are in the room.<\/p>\n

Did you know that the Catholic Church teaches that the Eucharist is the
\nBody, Blood, Soul, and Divinity of Jesus Christ? Not just a symbol. That
\nlittle host is actually God! Did you know that there is a Eucharistic
\nMiracle where a host visually turned to flesh and blood during the
\nconsecration? Again this is bonifide by the same “Boring” Catholic Church
\nthat you attend. This miracle happened over 400 years ago. There are even
\nscientific tests, which have been done on it to prove it is authentic. Recent
\nscientific tests, done by non-believers and believers alike. Tests that show
\nthe 400 year old consecrated host is living human heart muscle, still alive,
\nno rigor mortis or decay. Who says this is true? The same ruling authority
\nof the “Boring” Catholic Church you attend week in and week out! That is
\nwho!<\/p>\n

Did you know that the Catholic Church believes that we “become present” at
\nthe Jesus’ death on the cross at every single mass we attend? Remember the
\nold “Back to the Future Movies” where they time travel? Doesn’t this belief
\nsound a little like that? Yes, the “Boring” Catholic Church teaches that you
\nare “Present” at Jesus’ death on the cross at each and every mass, no matter
\nhow “Boring” it may seem!<\/p>\n

Why is it we enjoy watching what we know is fake, trick photography, and
\ncomputer animation, but we find it “Boring” to be present at an actual
\nmiracle? In light of these things who is really boring and who is really
\npretty cool?<\/p>\n

If these type of questions intrigue you, and you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re interested in hearing more
\nmind blowing Truths. Check out the Dead Theologian’s Society this (insert
\ndate here________). We are a group for teens that are tired of Hollywood’s
\ncheap imitations. We will tell you about the lives of the Saints and how the
\nmiracles worked by God through them will blow away any cheap trick
\nphotography you have ever seen. And we will show you exactly why the Roman
\nCatholic Church is anything but “Boring”. You have our word on it, but more
\nimportantly, you have God’s word on it! Be there!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A SAMPLE DTS BULLETIN ANNOUNCEMENT One of the Dead Theologians Society Chapters once asked me for a sample of a good bulletin announcement. I wrote this specifically for them, and it worked well, or so they told me! So if you can use it feel free to copy it and put in the specific information […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":41,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","template":"","meta":{"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-42","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.stmichaelspod.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/42","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.stmichaelspod.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.stmichaelspod.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.stmichaelspod.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.stmichaelspod.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=42"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.stmichaelspod.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/42\/revisions"}],"up":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.stmichaelspod.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/41"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.stmichaelspod.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=42"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}